Cold is Relative…

 

This is the sort of thing that goes on where pea lives 🙂 Yeah, this is meant to be sarcastic and funny…but some of these she actually *Does*… And, a nod and a wink to Someone and hopes He likes the artwork 🙂

At 50 degrees people in New York City turn on the heat. People in Buffalo plant gardens. (gotta have tulips)

When it is 40 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Buffalo sunbathe. (but, really, the Californians are probably shivering at 80 degrees…)

At 35 degrees Italian cars won’t start. People in Buffalo drive with the windows down. (she does this. or has the AC on)

At a temperature of 32 degrees Distilled water freezes. Buffalo water gets thicker. (It is 18 degrees as of this posting and she still has unfrozen puddles)

20 degrees means Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Buffalo throw on a long sleeved-shirt. (a sweatshirt is her winter weather gear)

At 15 degrees Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Buffalo go swimming. (sorry to pick on the California people…they are just easy targets…)

At Zero degrees cheap flophouse landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Buffalo have the last cookout before it gets cold. (pea wouldn’t turn the heat on for herself…but mr pea complains about it being too cool)

When it reaches 10 degrees below zero People in Miami cease to exist. People in Buffalo lick flagpoles. (Triple Dog Dare!)

At 20 degrees below zero Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket. (We throw on scarves and earmuffs too…we are just don’t usually admit it)

When the thermometer reaches 40 degrees below zero Hollywood disintegrates. People in Buffalo rent videos. (nothing cozier than curling up with a movie and cocoa)

At 60 degrees below zero Mt. St. Helens freezes. Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. (Actually, they don’t go door to door. They set up camp outside Wegmans and Wal-Mart.)

At 80 degrees below zeroPolar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough. (The rest of us go to the zoo to watch the polar bears play. 🙂 we have tougher polar bears than the arctic)

When it is 100 degrees below zero Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps. (she doesn’t have a hat with ear flaps…but she wears earmufs *and* a hat*)

At 173 degrees below zero Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Buffalo get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs. (she doesn’t know about this one. she has never tasted beer because it smells bad)

At 297 degrees below zero Microbial life start to disappear. Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands. (mmmm ice cold milk and girl scout cookies)

When it 460 degrees below zero All atomic motion stops. People in Buffalo start saying “Cold ’nuff for ya?” (she hasn’t actually ever said this, and is annoyed when people do. yeah, it is cold. hush up and deal)

And at 500 degrees below zero Hell freezes over. Buffalo wins the Stanley Cup. (or the superbowl, depending on your sport of choice…)

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