Blame Bella :)

Ok. she loves Bella. To bits. Ooodles and tons. Bella even gave homes to not one, but two homeless socks. she would gladly send Bella sponge candy. *That* is how much she loves Bella.

*commercial break*

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*end commercial*

But, Bella had to go and mention one of her major pet peeves in her blog. Way to go Bella. Now she is on a rant.

Nothing annoys her more than the Christmasization of Hallowe’en and Thanksgiving.

she loves autumn. she loves leaves and pumpkins and hay bales and corn stalks and gourds and squash and indian corn and crisp days and frosted grass and *EVERYTHING* about autumn. It is her favorite season. Bring on the mulled cider and doughnuts and toasted pumpkin seeds and visiting every pumpkin patch and farmer’s market in a hundred mile radius from her house. she mails leaves to relations in arizona who don’t have an autumn so they don’t miss out on autumn.

she loves hallowe’en. she loves giving out candy and getting candy and seeing the kids in their costumes and her annual pumpkin carving contest that her father *always* wins and crunching through the leaves and dressing up her dogs and toasting pumpkin seeds and carving Jack O’ Lanterns and the smell of slightly toasted pumpkin from the candles singeing the inside.

she loves Thanksgiving. It is her very favorite holiday of them all. she loves turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes and having seven kinds of pie and nuts and cornucopias and pilgrims and green bean casserole and the parade and nuts and tangerines and jello and mints and all the people and stuffing things into one little oven and the good dishes and the gravy boat and being stuffed to the gills but still having dessert *with* whipped cream and chestnuts .

Please take note that NONE of the above things involve holly. or Santa. or reindeer. or christmas trees. or ornaments. or lights. or tinsel. or bows. or mistletoe. or christmas carols. or giant inflatable musical light-up revolving snowglobes that she wants to stab. (But that is a different rant *entirely*)

Back when she was in school, when mastodons roamed the earth, she was taught about the first Thanksgiving. As far as she knows SANTA WASN’T INVITED. Sweet mother of god…the pilgrims were so religous they squeaked, and even *they* didn’t invite Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the Magi and the Shepherds to Thanksgiving dinner BECAUSE IT WAS THANKSGIVING AND NOT CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

she almost falls out of her pod every year when she goes to the market, expecting to see the foyer awash in pumpkins and hay bales and squash…only to be smacked upside the head with a platform of fully decorated revolving christmas trees spewing “Joy to the World” in bad MIDI music.

IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS!!!

notChristmasYet

IT ISN’T EVEN ADVENT!!!!!

What really burns her buns as she wends her way through a forest of christmas trees as she tries to find a pumpkin, is that her local market puts up a big sign, claiming that they push christmas down her throat with an earth rammer, because that is what customers want.

Now, she knows a few people who are serious about their christmas. she is *very* fond of christmas herself, in December.

And she understands that retailers need to purchase this stuff early to have it for the Christmas season…which is in December.

Has she mentioned December yet?

DECEMBER!!!

she hasn’t even had her pumpkin pie and turkey and they want it to be DECEMBER now!!!

*falls over and twitches*

When she starts singing “O Little Town of Bethlehem” to the tune of “Turkey in the Straw” she is probably going to go postal.

All she can do is hope that someone…not to mention names, Bella, will take up a collecton to post bail.

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